Twinkle Lights

Christmas Has Come and Gone...so has treatment FOUR!

I am so grateful that we had Merry Family Christmas on Sunday, December 21, 2014. All were present except Brent Sesser - in Florida, Daley Sesser - in Louisiana,  and Toby Bowen's family - he was running fever and thought of me.

I felt awesome! Especially since Kacy came in the night before and took over cooking my part of the dinner meal. Charles led her down the path of chicken and dressing, she made my broccoli and rice casserole and other dishes. Brian fried the turkey breasts. Other children brought food...and we ate and ate and ate. It was a beautiful sunny day that allowed the kids to play outside. Archer ran and ran and the boys, Rain and Mason played soldier with nerf guns. It was a great day.

Then Monday rolled around. Mary Ann Smith, my sister-law was my partner for the day. We were there from 8:45 am - 5:30 pm. I left with my fanny pack. On Tuesday, Brandon came and kept me company. We enjoyed visiting with Mr. Wade from West Point, who also was diagnosed with Colon cancer - stage 1. On Wednesday I went to have my fanny pack removed and met Linda. She also is a colon cancer soldier. Mr. Wade was  there to have his pack removed so we spent a few minutes on Christmas Eve comparing effects of our treatments. We were very close to having the same outcomes. Although...I have not had metal taste in my mouth as they reported. I am grateful.

On Christmas Eve Eve - Charles and I had a special treat. The Traveling Carolers came with goodies, songs, and hugs. It was such a meaningful time.

When I returned home from the Cancer Center on Christmas Eve, I realized I was going to have a fight on my hands. I felt bad. I had not had such a reaction with the previous treatments, Maybe a day or night...but this one lasted all night Christmas Eve, all day Christmas Day as well as the day after. I spent most of my time in the bed or on the couch gazing at the twinkle lights on the Christmas Tree.

In my hours of weakness and self talk to be courageous and think positive - God knew I needed support. A little bird must have sent out a message, because I started receiving texts, family pictures for distraction, and baby birthday pictures, and words of encouragement!!! Thank you all!

Today is December 27, 2014. I am on my way up. I am still enjoying the twinkle lights on the tree. Sitting here, each light represents a special word, a  hug, a meal, a text to check in on me.

The Light Of The World.
During Christmas we hear story after story of how normal people are the light in someones life. It doesn't take long to listen to the news to recognize the darkness of bad news. Jesus was born as a light. We now can continue to carry that light in us. One twinkle light dispels darkness.
I guess that is why I would lie on the couch in front of those lights. I will have to admit, I found myself being tempted to look at the darkness instead of the the light. But because of others who decided to be a twinkle light in my darkness, I find myself feeling on the other side!

The New Year is quickly heading our way. My next treatment will be January 7th. Yesterday in my darkness I wondered if I could do it again. Today...because of YOU and the light you shared with me - I say YES! I can do all things through Christs' strength,

Something came across facebook this morning that I would like to share as a beacon of light if you need one:

I AM HE
I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and
I will carry you;
I will sustain you and
I will rescue You.

Isaiah 46:4

Hairy Times

    MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! He came for such a time as this!

I am grateful to say I am in the finished with my third treatment after having to postpone a treatment last week. My counts did come up, but due to the fact that I will probably bottom out again this week a decision has been made for me to take "the shot" (nupregin is the name...maybe?)

It did not set well thinking about another drug being put in this already drug laden body. I prayed for direction on what to do. He answered. I was in Wal-mart and ran into Karen Cole. Haven't seen her in years except on facebook. (The reason I like facebook!) She asked about me and I proceeded to share the quandary  I felt I was in. She looked at me and said, "I had 12 treatments and 8 shots." (No, I did not know she had been through chemotherapy 4 years ago.)
There was my answer! She even gave me a great tip. The shot has an adverse reaction of bone pain. After her first shot with the pain, someone told her to start taking Claritin everyday. I bought it that day and have been taking it. Jesus used her to prepare me for the ultimate decision of the shot. I received the shot on Friday and can say so far...Claritin is doing the trick!

HE came for such a time as this!

Seeing Karen and hearing of her battle, it makes me realize we just DON'T know what others are facing. We pass by people everyday who are alone, homeless, sick, hurting, afraid. I pray I will be more aware and reach out. How about you?

Tuesday night I was washing my hair to prepare for the next three days with the fanny pack...and spit baths! As I began to rub the shampoo in my hair, I felt something funny in my hands, on my shoulders, over my face. I realized it was my hair coming out. My oncologist had told me I probably wouldn't even loose my hair. I probably am.

I called for Charles. When he came in and found me in tears holding a wad of hair in my had, he broke down also. It's these signs that bring reality to me, that I am fighting a battle! After several minutes of tears and not wanting to face reality we hugged and prayed the scripture that has been our foundation. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
—Isaiah 41:10

He came for such a time as this!

It didn't take me long to realize...it will grow back. And...if you have know me long, you know my hair is not that appealing. HA! As my boss said, Hair is overrated!

Due to my missing a week of treatment, my new schedule put me together with a different set of people receiving treatment. It was enjoyable to talk with each of them. I took boxes of peppermint candy canes and had a blast giving them out and wishing each a Merry Christmas. There were two men, an African American on his 6th treatment for colon cancer and a white gentleman in treatment for  3 years. As they finished their drip I noticed they were going to do something they have been doing...they started to embrace to pray but decided to include me, my sister-in-laws, and the other young woman sitting near me and her mother. It was so moving.

He came for such a time as this!

If you live near a cancer center, I encourage you to just ride by and share the joy of the season.



Luke 2
10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ONE AND ALL!!!

Thankfulness in all Things

December 5, 2014 - As I write the date, it brings a thankfulness thought...the date my mom and dad got married as very young people. I am grateful they married, had 4 children, and now are in heaven.

Thanksgiving has come and gone, but just as many posted on Facebook...we should be thankful everyday, not just on Thanksgiving! So that is my theme for this post! I AM THANKFUL!

Because I had treatment the week before Thanksgiving, I felt so good during those holidays off of work. I can even say I forgot that I am in chemo! We had a houseful of children and grandchildren (even tho a few were missing!) Everyone brought a dish or two and we added it to fried turkey (my first time) and ham. Of course, we had more food than we had room in our stomachs! Desserts were plenty!!!

On Friday after Christmas a trip to Birmingham was on my agenda...even though they had only arrived in B'ham at midnight on Thanksgiving. Hunter's family and Kacy's family converged to help unload U-Haul and eat Thanksgiving together. Archer was confused but excited with all of the family kissing, hugging and touching him every time we passed by. It was great to be with them. I spent the night on Friday and drove the short road home on Saturday.

Charles' daughter took him to Oxford for the Egg Bowl on Saturday. He was so glad he went to be able to watch his team earn the trophy.

I AM THANKFUL!

My third treatment quickly came last Wednesday. After my blood was checked, I watched as the nurse headed my way with my chart and a look on her face I never wanted to see. She showed me the results of my platelets and the low counts. I would not be able to have the treatment this week. Of course I was disappointed because as Leanne Long said, "I wanted to be able to check it off my scheduled list!"

I checked with several of my "cancer cohorts" and discovered that they never had to miss a treatment. The enemy really wanted to use that to start stories in my head of all the news could mean. The nurse told me I was on a very intensive treatment. That gave me pause. Now my nice and tight 6 months of treatment could be elongated to how many months???? Low white count could cause me to get a common infection and turn it into trouble. So, I had to turn this thought process around.

I AM THANKFUL!

These results indicate the chemo is working. It is killing bad cells...but those good cells are at risk too. I have friends praying for me and reaching out to me with family stories of healing and remission.

I AM THANKFUL!

Here is some news I have received in the last weeks:
1. Janice got her port out after three years...cancer free!!!
2. Mary Lou - cancer free
3. My cousin Dennis final CAT scan - no cancer!!!!
4. Kyle - cancer free
5. Eddye - good report
6. Shelly's brother just got port out - cancer free

I researched and found one site that says nothing can really help blood count, but I also found some sites that suggested zinc, green tea, rest and leafy green vegetable and fruits. I will try these suggestions. I don't guess it can hurt!

It is true!!! No matter what your circumstances are...if you start a list of what you are thankful for - it changes your outlook.

It changed mine...I am thankful!

"Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; let us shout joyfully to Him with songs." Psalm 92:2

The Community of Cancer

"For each one who begins to weep, somewhere else another stops." - Samuel Beckett

Leading up to my second treatment, I had several days where I could say I felt normal. I wondered if that would ever occur and it is encouraging to know that the answer is YES.

But Treatment Two did come around. Today ends those 46 hours.

Walking in on Wednesday to Cancer Care in Starkville, MS felt comfortable. I saw faces that I had seen weeks before. Our routines must be the same. Some of those faces turned into women I had known when I lived in Columbus. Being the week before Thanksgiving, the treatment center had more going on than my last visit. I heard several announce that they were having their last treatment, as well as seeing those who were filling out paper work, which meant they were newbies.

All the recliners were filled and in walked Betty. I thought I recognized her, but wasn't sure. Since I was almost "dripped out" I insisted that she take my recliner and I could finish up in the "visitor's chair." Of course we started chatting and we remembered each other from Columbus. The conversation wasn't totally about our conditions, but I have found the community of cancer shares about the what, how and why of treatment.

It reminds me of my friend Mary Lou who has come through a double mastectomy and reconstruction surgery this year (which I am ashamed to say I had no idea, until she started reaching out to me when she heard my news.) She was giving me tips about taking the treatments and offered that they can be relaxing unless you happen to be by someone who wants to talk. OPPS!!! I am that someone!!! HA! I have tried to be mindful of what my neighbor would like to do...rest or rap...but I find it hard not to talk them up. And Kacy...I try not to get in their yard!!! HA

My sister-in-laws, Pat and Mary Ann were still my partners on Wednesday. I am trying to work out a schedule with others who have offered to drive me to give them a day off. They have been so supportive and have gone with me on each step of this journey.  I see others come by themselves, but I feel so groggy by the end of the day, I wonder how safe a driver I would be. But, I am becoming less anxious about the process.

On Thursday, I can go by myself to receive the bag of vitamins. Sherry is the nurse that is always there, often the only one. But with the influx of treatments, Kara was there also. They are wonderful. What a calling they have to work with this community of cancer. (picture of nurses)

I had asked on Wednesday if I came early, could they get me going so I could leave in time to get to Rain's school for Thanksgiving. Dr. Hill was to be there and I would see him for my first visit after starting chemo. They were so accommodating and I was able to complete meds and see Dr. Hill. And made it on time for Rain!!
(picture of Rain)

So here are my updates:
-After checking my blood, the nurse reported my platelets were lower, which she said was good because it meant it was working.
-I think the only medicine right now that is having an adverse effect on my is the steroid. My voice becomes weak, kinda shaky hands, and last night was awake from 2:00 am. I have heard similar stories from others in the community.
-Meeting with Dr. Hill I found out more news. When I had the PET scan I called back to his office and talked with a nurse about the results. I understood her to say that I had lymph nodes that were compromised with tumors. I asked Dr. Hill could we talk about the results so I would understand the implications of that report. When he opened the report, I immediately read LIVER LEFT LOBE. I said...so it is in my liver. He said yes that is why I am giving you that fourth drug. I told him that I had been told it was in lymph nodes, not liver. He suggested that I always talk to him...good suggestion. So, with that being reported, I had been praising God that it was not in my liver, but now am praising Him that it is not in my lymph nodes. That system is big!!! I asked about surgery, but he is of the opinion right now to believe the drugs I am taking could take care of it. I also asked about my upper body...nothing there as well as my lower due to there being nodes on my pelvic floor...nothing was there. PRAISES!! We will know more about the activity in my liver at the end of treatment when another PET will be ordered.

The community of cancer is very populated. I am so grateful for the doctors and nurses who work in the fight.

Please pray for:
Jessie who just found out he has a rare form of leukemia.
Baby Cole who just had three months of chemo, a tumor removed from his liver, and three more treatments to go.
My cousin's son, Cooper.
2 year old Ryan on his 78th day after bone marrow transplant.
Bro. Mickey - leukemia.
Betty - leukemia.
Charlie - Colon Cancer and having liver surgery in three months.
Kyle - for a good report.

"But thou, O Jehovah, art a shield around me; My glory and the lifter up of my head." Psalm 3:3

Voice of Truth

The Voice of Truth

Take a few minutes and click the link above and listen to a song I heard on the way to work this morning. I have heard this song at various times during the years, and it always speaks to me about something going on in my life.

As you can only imagine...it spoke to me loud and clear about my journey to wellness. When you are faced with struggles do you have stories going on in your head? Confession: I do! I can carry on a conversation with myself about almost anything and often the loudest voice is not the one I should be listening to!

One of the lines in the song reminds me of a message in my heart after I was diagnosed. I felt the message to be, "This will be for your good...and my glory!" What a sobering thought. Of course...I could not see good then, but I have already begun to understand.

Let me share some of the good:
I learned how to ask for help.
And help came!
My children/step children are always a call away.
Kacy's family is moving to Birmingham.
Friends from my past who have gone through Cancer Treatment have reached out to me and supported me in ways that only going through treatment allows.
I attended Walk to Emmaus in a weak state but left strong.
I am reflecting on what life should really mean - what I should be doing to make it better for those around me.
The nurses at the Cancer Care Center in Starkville, MS are compassionate and caring for each person who enters. They knew my name when I walked in the second day.

I have completed one round. People ask how I am feeling. I do feel alright! I have not been sick nor do I feel any physical pain. I guess the only description I can give for now is...foggy headed! But...that could describe me before this happened!

Walking in the first day was a bit disconcerting. Mary Ann and Pat, my sister troopers were with me as they have been. Not knowing what to expect, my blood pressure was a bit up! Walking into the room where treatments would be administered, I was met with faces who knew what I was feeling because they were veteran cancer soldiers. They knew the routine. I had to retreat to the bathroom so they wouldn't see me cry...not sure if I was crying for me or them.

When it was my turn to get hooked up, of course finding the port was tedious due to my fleshy self! I was connected, but had to do a bit of leaning forward, lifting my arm to get the blood flowing. It did. Then came the bags and bags of different drugs. As many had told me, I was glad that I have the Power Port! It will be more comfortable during my treatments.

A Mennonite sewing group had made lap blankets and travel head pillows for those of us who come for treatments. I chose mine and will carry it each time I go. There was a comfort in that blanket knowing that caring hands, who have a heart for the hurting, made it for me.

I stayed in my recliner from 9:00 am until 2:30 pm. Brandon came and checked on me during my time there. He spoke positive and words of courage. I left with a battery operated pack that would keep pumping one of my drugs for 46 hours.

Day two: I had to return at 9:00 am to get another bag of vitamins. I was there until 1:00 pm. Day three: I returned at 9:00 am for the last cc's of the bag to drip and was removed from my little fanny pack.

I am now free from drips until November 19, 2014. The week before Thanksgiving! Boy do I have a lot to be thankful for!

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts to us in our pain." C.S. Lewis

When you need a voice in your head to listen to...Listen to Him.

Forever Family

I have been thinking the last week about my family. (It took 6 weeks because up to now it was all about me!!! HA!) It wasn't until this morning I saw this on facebook that it allowed my thoughts to become words.

Family is so important, but never as much as when you are facing an illness, issue, and/or inconvenience to daily life. And...that is where I find myself.

Do we take time to reach out and hug or send up a prayer for the family members as they stand by and walk along side a mother with colon cancer, a dad with lung cancer, an aunt with breast cancer, a niece with leukemia, a husband...a wife? They are walking through the valley of the shadows along with their loved one.

So my shout out today is to MY FAMILY!!! Charles, what a great husband you have been but especially during this time of uncertainty. All of the hugs I have gotten from friends and family, I should have shared with you. You show me so much love. You won't let me be afraid. You speak life and pray in faith for my healing. But, thank you for shedding tears about me, too.

My children - to you I say, "I Love You." I will say it every time I speak to you. I want you to be sure and know you have been my best accomplishment! Each of you have heard your 'birthing story' on each birthday, but those were the best days of my life. Ryan, Kacy, Brandon, and Brent. Now as adults, you make me so proud. Watching you come into your own lives has been interesting and so fulfilling. The families you are forming are wonderful. It is not a comfortable place to be wondering what the near future holds. I have asked God for healing, and will believe it to be! I pray that those around you who know what you are walking through will grab you up, give you a big hug, and be there to listen, encourage, and walk beside you.

My children by marriage - Toby, Brooke, and Brian. For 16 years I have had the opportunity to get to know you, love you and be loved by you. Each of you have created a family that touches our lives. You mean so much to your dad. Thank you for keeping him close to your hearts, being there to visit when you can, and calling him to talk Ole Miss football.

Grandchildren - Daley, Rain, and Archer - the Sessers
                           Brett, Calie, Claire, Ally, Mason - the Bowens
                           (and those to come)
You have been icing on the cake for my life. You make life so much for enjoyable. Being able to watch you grow has been such a blessing. I pray I will be watching you for quite a while longer.

Families go outside that immediate boundary.  Helen - Sisters - brothers - nieces - nephews - cousins! Each word of encouragement from you has been like honey. But, many of you have had to see changes in your immediate family due to cancer. I pray that my experience will not bring bad memories to the forefront. But that God's touch will be felt in a new and healing way. I am fortunate to have you in my life. The loved ones that were lost showed me how to trust in the middle of a raging storm.

So here is my update:

Power Port was"installed" near my left collar bone last Thursday. I have 11 staples to be removed in two weeks. To add insult to injury, the surgeon reported since I was a bit fleshy (ok - over weight) my port has a bit more tissue between the port and skin. Let's all be in agreement the nurse will be able to spot the port!!!

Wednesday morning, I will be going to the Cancer Care unit in Starkville and start this treatment process. I will be counting down the treatments on this journey to wellness.

Finally remember - when you see those family members in the back ground watching and waiting for that loved one - go up to them. Talk to them. Hug them. Let them know you understand what they are going through in their silence.

"Carry each other's burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galations 6:2

I've Enjoyed Listening to the Band

Being an SEC girl, married to a former SEC Football player, working at a SEC school (who is NUMBER ONE!!!), I am looking at this as a game!

My first half is over. I feel great after surgery. I can even bend over, sneeze and cough without any discomfort. So...I can say with great enthusiasm...I have won the first half! But for all you football followers out there...we all know it's the score at the END of the game that counts.

I have enjoyed half time. I was able to attend Walk to Emmaus last week-end. A wonderful three day event that brought me closer to God and I found peace and left my fears there. What a great opportunity to worship with other women seeking a touch.

I was able to work last week, part time each day. Being back at the RCU was so healing! As I have said often, it is a great place to work. I will be in and out this week as well.

Today starts the second half! I'm ready to play every minute of the second half and get a victory! I will be getting my port in Starkville at OCH put in this afternoon (Monday - October 27, 2014) OPPS! Whistle blow! I just talked with surgeon's nurse. I SEE the doctor today to learn about it and surgery will be scheduled. PUNT!

In the morning I have to be in Tupelo early for a PET scan. Interesting fact about PET scans...I can't be around babies or pregnant women for 8 hours after the scan. My daughter in law, Amy will be having a sonogram tomorrow. Hopefully we will find out the gender of my grandchild...I can't see or hug her when she finds out!

Dr. Julian Hill, in Tupelo is my oncologist. I met him Friday and feel very blessed to have him treat me. Great news...he has an office in Starkville, so I will be receiving treatments there. PRAISES! I will receive 4 drugs. Three, I believe will be administered at the clinic, and the 4th I will wear with a battery operated pump for 36 hours.

The schedule for treatments is every two weeks for 6 months. That equals 12 - TWELVE treatments. That seems like a doable number. I know so many who have twice and three times that number. I am so humbled.

Those of you who are reading this...please get a colonoscopy if you haven't! I read again this week, that colon cancer doesn't give you symptoms early. You are so important and your health is worth checking on. I DID NOT! Don't be me!!!

Also, my surgeon suggested I take Juice Plus supplements. They are ordered. (Can't find in Walmart) I am also juicing one meal a day...usually breakfast. A friend of Kacy's has been in treatment for colon cancer and feels juicing has been a big part of his journey to wellness.

Well...my plans have changed for the day. I am going to go get dressed and head to work. After thinking I had to fast for surgery...I am looking forward to breakfast.

Thank you for reading this...following my progress...and continuing to pray for me and others you know facing health issues.

Also...all of you who have brought me food over the last month a read a verse. This is for you!
"If anyone gives you even a cup of water because you belong to the Messiah, I assure you, that person will be rewarded!" Mark 9:41

I remain grateful to you all!

On your journey to wellness

I have been home almost two weeks. It has been three weeks since surgery. I wonder how long my time will be based on that incident?

Since coming home I have been cared for, loved, fed, received cards, calls, and posts! I have said this before and will say it often-i don't know what I would have done. If you are familiar with the bible story of the loaves and fishes, I am living that first hand. It does not matter what people bring us to eat, it lasts and lasts and lasts. My prayer for each one of them, is that they will be blessed right back!!!

My first week home, I had friends and family who agreed to stay the night with me and Charles. I rested so well knowing they were here.

I can't wait to paying it forward.

Cards are in my mailbox each day. Hearing from friends and family brings sunshine to my heart. Laura Lofton a teacher friend from south Mississippi wrote a statement that I am clinging to. She said her thoughts and prayers would be with me "on your journey to wellness!" I am in agreement!

Charles' two sisters Mary Ann and Pat, have come every single day to bathe me and change my bandage. Laughter is part of their treatment. Pat has even come running when pain and fear sapped my courage. She was tender and helpful to realize trapped gas can be a distraction. Sprite was the answer. And. Walk. Walk. Walk. This happened to be the night Lois was spending the night. She made the trip to McDonald's for me at 11:30 pm to retrieve the sprite that gave me relief.

On Monday it was time to visit Dr. Ley in Madison, MS. The sisters and our niece, Judy took me. I love the name on their office. Women's Health and Healing Center. The rest of the staples were removed and a follow up appointment in six months was made. A bit of infection in my incision made it necessary for an antibiotic and hydrogen peroxide treatment. I can already feel a difference.

Also I have been referred to Dr. Julian Hill in Tupelo, MS on October 24. Praying he will know just what I need to reach wellness.

Of course, I can't leave out Mississippi Football! This has really given me something to look forward to...Football Saturday. This past Saturday, my brother Sammy and his wife Pam drove up from Hattiesburg with a tail gate of smoked chicken quarters, potato salad, and baked beans. Then if anyone was still hungry???? Spiral honey ham and croissants. What a feast. Not only food but family! And State didn't let Sammy down...and later that night Charles watched his Rebels beat A&M!

This week-end I am attending a church retreat...Walk to Emmaus. I am looking forward to being with women who are seeking God's will for their lives...as am I! It's hard to explain how part of my time is spent fighting fear (usually night time). My prayer is as I attend this retreat, God will fill me with His courage, His strength, and His might.

"But the Lord is with me like a Mighty Warrior" Jeremiah 20:11

PS Please pray for healing for both 2 year old Ryan fighting Leukemia and Bro. Mickey Dalrymple - Leukemia

Preop Success

Today was a quick trip to Jackson, MS ( 2 hours from home) for the preop procedures:


http://www.womanshospitalms.com/


Hospital Admissions paperwork : Check
2 vials of blood: Check
EKG: Check
E-rays of lungs: Check
Practiced using respiratory apparatus: Check
Met with nurse to go over paperwork and procedures: Check

Paid down payment for hospital: Check Check

The process was very relaxed due to the wonderful care I received. I have never been to that hospital but I left feeling a part of their family. During the meeting with the nurse I mentioned something about my hometown - Natchez - only to find out she had worked with Lottie Smith (Fairview memories) and Jake Middleton's wife. She loves you, Jake!

I find myself with hours to go! I have been instructed to be at the hospital by 7:00 am on Thursday morning. Charles and I have decided to go to Brooke's house in Flowood tomorrow. (Charles' daugther) A special antibacterial soap was given to me to use for my bathes the next two days. Kacy...I talked to her about my request for hand washing and shared the terrible ordeal you went through when you had Archer. She agreed.

I'm not sure I have mentioned my surgeon. Those who do know Dr. Philip Ley have spoken so highly of him and his reputation as a oncology surgeon. There have been many who have had him as a surgeon or a family member has. I'm grateful that God's leadership directed us this way.

http://www.mississippimedicalnews.com/physician-spotlight-phillip-ley-md-cms-472

I can't leave this post without saying again THANK YOU to all of you who have called, emailed, sent text messages and are praying for me. I am humbled by the outpouring of you love.

Well, I have fixed my first of two Sprite and Magnesium Citrate cocktails....YUMMY! So, here is to a successful surgery, recovery and to continue down my life's path.

I will keep you posted!

PS...there is a little 2 year old boy named Ryan who is battling Leukemia. He is on day 11 of a 100 day isolation and treatment. I don't know his last name, but Jesus does. Please pray for him.

Count Down

Count Down

September 5

Two weeks away...and a surprise rolled up in my drive way. On my birthday - Friday, September 5 - Brandon, Amy and Rain came over after work to bring me my "happy!"  Upon their arrival to the house, bathroom breaks were needed by all before we left to go eat. Even Charles!

Standing by the truck that was started waiting to leave, Brandon asked who was that coming up the drive way. I didn't know. The only one I knew that had a car like that was ...KACY!!!?????

Crying, hugging, laughing and grabbing Amy for balance I was shocked to see Hunter, Kacy and Archer! What a great way to help the time go by.

During the 5 day stay, Charles and I were taken care of. The kids cooked for us! It was wonderful. Also, Kacy prepared over 15 meals for the freezer so Charles would have something to warm up during my convalescence.

<pictures>

My Archer who is 15 months old and met PawPaw for the first time on this trip, was such a blessing to have around. We read books, played in the water hose, rocked, and watched the fans go round and round in every room at his insistence.

<pictures>

Since I posted this blog, I have been so humbled by the outpouring of posts, promises or prayers, and uplifting reports of others' relatives who have faced this same journey and are living to tell about it. Cancer is a ruthless disease. So many are touched by its occurrence.

One friend made the post worth it for me. She messaged me with news that she too had similar issues and has made an appointment to see about it. Praise God!

It goes without saying that I am skiddish with this diagnosis. My mother had colon cancer when I was a teenager. We have just remembered the devastation of September 11, 2001. Mine started on September 10th one day before. I lost my sister, Judith Anne Dossett Loflin Hendrix to cancer. And then...the unthinkable, my brother Robert Edward Dossett was diagnosed with cancer and has since changed his address to heaven. So, the story in my head can be one of fear, worry, and/or sadness.

But, then I hear from Ryan....Brandon....or Brent....and Kacy drives up my driveway. Or my children by marriage call to check on me. Friends call, text, email. Family reaches out with support. My brother Sammy calls and cracks a joke.

September 12
And the count down continues. I am now at SIX more days until surgery. I have had many occasions to turn toward Jesus and His loving grace. This is such a time. I am so grateful to be able to rest in word.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Cancer, It Is

30 Days Later

September 2, 2014 30 days ago I went for the colonoscopy that was prescribed by a local doctor after I described some issues I had experienced over the two months before. I woke up in the operating room at OCH and heard the physician say...there is a mass.  Cancer - it is!

Let's start from the beginning. I don't go to the doctor like I should. Do you have to say that? Well...I hope this might get you to reconsider...and make an appointment. But...I can say I had a colonoscopy about 3 and a half years ago...so I thought I was doing good.

If you ask me did I feel anything...I will tell you NO. But there were signs. (OK...this is going to be graphic, but I need you to be aware!) There was blood in my stool. I justified that I had a tear...hemorrhoids maybe, but that was the extent of my worry. Until One Night. I immediately went to the doctor the next day.

The prep for this particular procedure was something else. It took me 4 hours every 15 minutes to drink the liquid I needed for the prep. It worked.

I have to share a funny! The wonderful young nurse that was getting my IV ready had her name tag on...I read...Bekah     Colon Nurse. Of course I was curious and asked her, "what made you want to specialize and become a colon nurse?" She smiled and answered, "My Husband...that is his last name!" God does have a sense of humor. He knew I needed that!

Because an hour later on August 5, 2014 I woke up to hear the doctor tell the nurse there is a mass. Tears filled my eyes and the nurse at my side rubbed my arm. She told me her relative had stage 4 colon cancer seven years ago and was doing fine. I tucked that information away. It was something I could use to help Charles (my husband) face this news with me. A biopsy was performed during the colonoscopy and I would get the results when I met with the surgeon later that week. 

August 6, 2014 Meeting with the surgeon was quick and to the point. Not knowing the results, I asked my son Brandon to go with us in case I zoned out from the report and he could relay the information. But...it was reported BENIGN!!! We were celebrating but the surgeon put a warning out. The mass is large. (still not sure what large means) I am going to treat it as if it was malignant. Fine with me I thought to myself. But it is Benign...I called my daughter...my other sons...went by the office. We cried and laughed at the fears we had been nursing. He explained the procedure, what he would have to do...and we left with a date for surgery. Almost 6 weeks from then. Everyone had the same question...why so long? Hospital scheduling!

The minute I left the surgeon I received a phone call from the digestive health clinic. Another mini colonoscopy was scheduled for August 12. Another biopsy was prescribed. They did not trust the first report due to the size. Another biopsy.

But, there were more tests scheduled. August 11 th was a Barium and Air test (to determine if there was something further in the colon because they could not get around the mass) was one that I would not wish on anyone. During the procedure I was heard to say, "Jesus, Help me!" several times by the radiologist conducting the test. I made it through. I kept thinking of small children having to go through similar tests.

A CAT scan was scheduled for  on August 14 . But as they attempted to conduct the test, the barium still in my body caused the x-rays to be unsatisfactory. Can you come back on Monday?

Monday, August 18 - CAT SCAN. In by 8:00am back at work by 9:30am. 

I flooded the doctor who had performed my second colonscopy for the results. He called.Another result. Malignant. My mind was spinning. Now the fear of it being out of the colon wall and in my liver was in motion. Each time I talked with the doctor, lymph nodes and liver was considered a risk. CAT scan showed swollen lymph nodes but liver was fine. Charles and I did what we had done on and off during the last 14 days. Hugged, cried, and thanked God for the good news of the results.

But. We were still wondering what other option there may be for surgery. Of course, my wish was to get the "monster inside me" out!!! September 8th seemed so far away. So, in hopes of getting a second opinion or at least an earlier surgery date, I turned to a surgeon in Jackson that a colleague had experience with.

Appointment was made for September 3rd to see him. Cancelled my September 8th surgery in Starkville. Surgeon broke his leg...still operating. Had to go to Memphis for professional development...yes, you guessed it. Surgery will be September 18th. Ten days after original scheduled surgery. Let's get it on!