Hello to you all!
It is hard for me to complain too much, but for a moment I will!!! The nurses told a truth that the treatments tend to be cumulative...which ultimately means they get worse as it gets closer to the end.
Well...closer to the end I am! Just finished number 9! The week-end was a bit Yucky for me. Bed and more bed. I would get up only to have to go back and lie down. But. I have three to go! I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!
I shouldn't complain or whine about how I feel. Last week on day two of my treatment I met with Dr. Julian Hill, my oncologist. He shared the CAT scan report from my mid-way scan. The lymph nodes under right underarm...are consistent with benign tumors. YEA!! Not an issue there.
He went on to talk about my liver. The lesions are 4.2 cm or 2 cm and "inactive", no change which is consistent with a cyst. Dr. Hill feels there will be NO SURGERY on my liver! I cried all the way from the clinic to Subway. I'm sure they thought I was having a break down!! How grateful I am for all the prayers that have been sent to God's Throne on my behalf.
No new occurrence of tumors in my colon...my pancreas, pelvic area, stomach, etc etc etc are clean! Thank you Dr. Philip Ley for the surgery you completed on my to rid me of a lot of over flow from my colon tumor!!!
Dr. Hill explained that after the chemo I will continue with the drug avastin. The final treatment will be to go to Cancer Care and receive Avastin (which I have been taking twice a month with Chemo) ONCE A MONTH for SIX MONTHS!!! Dr. Hill said my hair would start growing back and the tingle in my hands and feet and mouth will go away!!! I can't wait to drink a cold glass of water!!!
I have had such a journey these last seven months. I have met some amazing people. I have watched selfless friends cook for me, stay with me, encourage me, support me...I could go on and on. My prayer is for those who are not getting the same outcome as me. I want everyone who is going through cancer to be healed...from young to old. It is a terrible disease. But. I did have a comforting thought several weeks ago. I realized CANCER would not kill me...God would just say, "It's time for you to come on home!" For HE is in control.
We are half way through Colon Cancer Awareness Month. I will continue to stand on my band wagon and encourage you to "get checked." And you young folk...even though they don't push screening until 50, I have read many reports of the loss of young people due to colon cancer...because they didn't get screened. Listen to your body...don't ignore an uncomfortable feeling in your 'gut'! Don't assume seeing blood in your stool is because of hemorrhoids. (Gosh...I can talk about this topic without blushing now!) Please don't wait. I did not have symptoms until two months before discovery. Dr. Hill felt I had had it over two years! The sooner the better!
Thank you for taking time to catch up with me! I am looking forward to some spring breezes, green grass, and holding babies!!!
Monday, March 16, 2015
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Where have you been?
I started this post several weeks ago...and just could not talk! I felt so shut down...and if you can believe me...didn't want to see anyone. But, someone text me on facebook and said..."how are you? have I missed one of your posts?" OMG...did that ever give me a boost. So today...I finish this entry. Where have you been????
Feb 13, 2015
Seventh Heaven: a state of extreme happiness and joy
I can not believe that I can say I am in an extreme state of joy...but I can! My 7th treatment ended Friday, February 13th. It has now been almost a week and I have not had many side effects! Thank you God!
Here are SEVEN things that have occurred since my last treatment:
1. I had my blood count checked today...I did not have to have a nupregin shot!!!
2. I met two women who each were having their first treatment today. I was able to pray with them and encourage them in the fight. Please add Rebecca and Joyce to your list!
3. I attended a sweet baby shower for my daughter-in-law who is expecting my first granddaughter.
4. I will attend a baby shower for Charles' youngest son's baby boy!!! Both babies are due in early March.
5. My mouth has finally taken a beating from the chemo. Ulcers and burned feeling all in my mouth.
6. Charles is going to wellness center everyday and has lost 17 pounds...yes in one week!
7. And number seven...I finally did it! I purchased me a wig!
This journey is one filled with ups and downs. One morning as I was crying on Charles' shoulder about the condition of my hair, how I would like to feel like me again, and how my mouth hurts when I eat...He prayed the sweetest prayer. He said, "O Lord, we just need to touch the hem of your garment." I am so grateful that I have a husband who will believe with me in my healing.
Well today is March the 2nd!!! A lot has happened since treatment Seven! I have finished Treatment Eight!!!
Here are eight things that have happened:
1. February 24 - Jessica and Brian had a little boy...Cooper Michael Bowen
2. February 27 - Amy and Brandon had a little girl...Maisy Lilith Sesser
YES...two grandchildren born in one week. All are well and doing great.
3. Had two snow days - we had 8 inches of snow. I did not feel too great. I was in the middle of Treatment Eight.
4. March Came!!!
5. My boss decorated my office and the RCU workplace with blue ribbons to signify March - Colon Cancer Awareness Month
6. I have had several friends email me to say they had their colonoscopy and all is well!!!
7. I hit a deer 5 minutes from home in Charles' truck. He has not been able to go to Wellness Center so I went with him last night and walked the treadmill.
8. Charlie Williams, a colon cancer peep is having his last treatment today!!! Raise a prayer of thanksgiving.
I haven't missed much work since 8! I have felt rather good. Next Wednesday will begin Treatment 9!
Kacy, my daughter sent me an article...What not to say to someone who has cancer. She immediately apologized "mom, I'm sorry...I have said so many of these things." Well it's for sure I have never thought about it...but it did ring true with me...some of the reponses.
You can read the authors replies...but I decided to share mine!
http://www.buzzfeed.com/louisemcsharry/things-not-to-say-to-someone-who-has-cancer-1bqqo?bffb&utm_term=4ldqpgp#.epQXj3Xr2
1. “That’s a good cancer to have.” - OMG I'm Guilty!! I said this to me and anyone who would listen. I did read that about Colon Cancer...but now I realize so many have lost their lives to the "good cancer."
2. “Cancer isn’t as hard as it used to be.” - GOSH How hard was it before????
3. “I’ve always wanted to shave my head.” - UHHH I have never wanted to do that. And everyday when I look in the mirror and see my wispy hair, I frown!
4. “You look like Natalie Portman in V for Vendetta!” - I guess don't ever compare someone to one who is bald!!!
5. “We didn’t think you’d be up for it.” - Don't be sympathetic in this negative way. Thank goodness most of those around me don't allow me to sit and stew. They are forever encouraging me to go and do! They let me tell them if I just don't feel up to it.
6. “You’re so brave.” - THIS IS THE ONE I HATE!!! I didn't volunteer for this...so bravery doesn't have a place. If there was one statement I would encourage you to delete is this one!!
7. “Have you tried…?” I want a fix..and answer, but often when other remedies are suggested other than what my doctor is prescribing, it makes me feel uneasy and as if I am doing the wrong thing. I have to have faith in my doctor to make it through.
8. “If anyone can beat this, you can.” - of course this one stops me in my tracks...because my sister Judy couldn't beat it and my brother Bobby couldn't beat it...why should I feel so sure??? I saw them fight hard.
9. “Remember, there’s always someone worse off than you.” - this one I can live with!!! Because yes, when I arrive at Cancer Care for my treatment I see first hand that there are many worse than me. Please pray!
10. “I know how you feel.” - I have had comfort from those who have walked the Cancer Trail before me to hear this from them. So...if you are a Cancer Survivor...go see, text, email, call, visit those who are facing it now. Hearing someone else share their journey can be uplifting!
11. “At least you’ll have loads of free time now.” - hmmm so grateful I have been able to work during this time. I know that it is not true for all. It is no holiday!! Don't think that the "free" time equals walking on the beach or laying in a hammock on the back porch!
12. “Congratulations! You’re done!” - Scariest of all. As I approach April 27th - my if nothing goes wrong end date - I wonder what comes after??? Will it be all???
So what should you say?
"Do you need me to go to Chemo with you?"
"I'm bringing you dinner for your family."
"I'm sorry you are going through this."
"Don't give up!"
And finally - do say something...even if it is wrong!!!
I'm so glad that I finished this post. I felt like I was in rebellion! LOL
Thank you for taking time to read my posts. Remember...listen to your body. Even if the doctor makes you feel stupid for coming in...that is a great outcome!
And I am always reminded...
When you go through deep waters, I will be with you! Isaiah 43:2
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Scat Cat
January 29 - went to Cancer Care for check up with doctor. He was out of town so I got to see precious nurse practitioner!
Before going to Room One, I went in to see who was taking treatments to say hello. Met a new cancer warrior...it was his first treatment. He and his wife were so precious. So...put Mr. Tatum on your prayer list.
Here is the joke of the day from one of my cancer peeps!
A woman brought her duck in to see the vet. He could see with out much inquiry that the duck was dead. He told her. She said..."but you haven't even checked him over." So he went out and got his Labrador retriever. The dog put his paws up on the table and sniffed the duck. He looked as his master and shook his head. The vet went out and brought in a cat. The cat weaved back and forth, up and down the duck. He looked at his master and shook his head. The vet told the woman, "I am sorry, but your duck is gone. That will be $150.00." The woman looked startled. "I read in your waiting room that this would be $30." He said..."Yes, but that was before lab work and the Cat scan."
OK...maybe you have to be sitting where I am to enjoy that humor!!! LOL
So on to the results of MY CAT SCAN! I was told it was a good report. My colon looked good...no new tumors! The hot spots on my liver have not grown (but they haven't decreased yet, either). There are some lymph nodes in my right under arm that are swollen, but she said she was not concerned about them. Not even sure they haven't been that way for a while. Nothing in my stomach and my pelvic area looked clean. SO...SCAT CAT! I'm good for the next rounds.
Treatment 6 has been a week ago and I have to be honest. I still feel rough. I traveled on Saturday after treatment for Hunter's surprise BD party. I'm so glad Brandon drove so I could sit in the back seat and moan. Sunday and Monday were spent in the bed. Tuesday...I felt pretty good only for Wednesday and Thursday (today) to be yucky! I am at work...thankful that my colleagues let me whine, complain, and put my head on my desk without too much alarm. I was told today that the chemo would be accumulative and as it adds on, there will be yucky effects.
I go Monday for blood work to determine blood count and if I will need a nupragen shot. We can all cross our fingers!!! Then Wednesday, if all is well, I will have my 7th treatment. I created a calendar for the next several months to determine dates that I will NOT be in treatment to make some work plans. It looks like - if there are no complications- April 17th will end my treatment. Spring is the season of rebirth and newness...looking towards that spring!!
I heard a great motivational concept today. Myra shared it with me. The speaker had a tennis ball and as he gave his presentation, he would bounce that tennis ball. Sometimes he would bounce it softly, but other times he would bounce it with force. During the presentation he asked the audience did they see something interesting about the ball? He proceeded to point out..."do you notice the harder it hits the ground the higher it bounces up?"
OK! I get it!!! I'll admit I feel my ball is hitting the ground pretty hard lately. So my bounce will come back higher!!!
How high is your bounce????
Before going to Room One, I went in to see who was taking treatments to say hello. Met a new cancer warrior...it was his first treatment. He and his wife were so precious. So...put Mr. Tatum on your prayer list.
Here is the joke of the day from one of my cancer peeps!
A woman brought her duck in to see the vet. He could see with out much inquiry that the duck was dead. He told her. She said..."but you haven't even checked him over." So he went out and got his Labrador retriever. The dog put his paws up on the table and sniffed the duck. He looked as his master and shook his head. The vet went out and brought in a cat. The cat weaved back and forth, up and down the duck. He looked at his master and shook his head. The vet told the woman, "I am sorry, but your duck is gone. That will be $150.00." The woman looked startled. "I read in your waiting room that this would be $30." He said..."Yes, but that was before lab work and the Cat scan."
OK...maybe you have to be sitting where I am to enjoy that humor!!! LOL
So on to the results of MY CAT SCAN! I was told it was a good report. My colon looked good...no new tumors! The hot spots on my liver have not grown (but they haven't decreased yet, either). There are some lymph nodes in my right under arm that are swollen, but she said she was not concerned about them. Not even sure they haven't been that way for a while. Nothing in my stomach and my pelvic area looked clean. SO...SCAT CAT! I'm good for the next rounds.
Treatment 6 has been a week ago and I have to be honest. I still feel rough. I traveled on Saturday after treatment for Hunter's surprise BD party. I'm so glad Brandon drove so I could sit in the back seat and moan. Sunday and Monday were spent in the bed. Tuesday...I felt pretty good only for Wednesday and Thursday (today) to be yucky! I am at work...thankful that my colleagues let me whine, complain, and put my head on my desk without too much alarm. I was told today that the chemo would be accumulative and as it adds on, there will be yucky effects.
I go Monday for blood work to determine blood count and if I will need a nupragen shot. We can all cross our fingers!!! Then Wednesday, if all is well, I will have my 7th treatment. I created a calendar for the next several months to determine dates that I will NOT be in treatment to make some work plans. It looks like - if there are no complications- April 17th will end my treatment. Spring is the season of rebirth and newness...looking towards that spring!!
I heard a great motivational concept today. Myra shared it with me. The speaker had a tennis ball and as he gave his presentation, he would bounce that tennis ball. Sometimes he would bounce it softly, but other times he would bounce it with force. During the presentation he asked the audience did they see something interesting about the ball? He proceeded to point out..."do you notice the harder it hits the ground the higher it bounces up?"
OK! I get it!!! I'll admit I feel my ball is hitting the ground pretty hard lately. So my bounce will come back higher!!!
How high is your bounce????
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Going to My Head
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
But...we are already almost half way through with January. Time is flying by!
I have just finished treatment FIVE. At the end of January I will have 6 treatments to go. Half. Way. Finished. It is really starting to go to my head!
My hair is thinning out so I sent out an email to few colleagues and daughter. It was only days later I received the wig of my life!!! Then a beanie was delivered. I tried them on...but am having a hard time making it work. LOL Some women can wear hats and beanies and they look so cute...can't quite pull it off. But...wig hunting may be in my future.
(picture of purple wig)
If you read the last post after treatment 4 you know I was in a bad state. I am grateful to say treatment 5 was not as devastating. There was a detour in 5. I usually take Chemo all day Wednesday. When I arrived last Wednesday my blood count was at 700. (they like it to be 1500 but will do treatment at 1200) So...I had to take another Nupregin shot. (that makes 2) The next day, Thursday my count had moved from 700 to 3000! So I was on for the day, Friday and my sister-in-law unplugged me on Saturday. Although....I can say it is going to my head. I can hear rushing in my head as well as a weakness that makes me want to quit thinking. LOL
Work is my strong point! It really does help me to have a plan for the day. Even though Christmas Holidays were wonderful, I wonder if not having to push towards my plan, did I feel worse during that treatment. It was a lot of days of laying around and feeling pretty bad.
Again...going to my head. I am continually trying to analyze the whys and whats of this journey. It becomes a conscious decision to just be still and know that God has it covered.
For some reason, this treatment is not giving me the cold fingers and toes as bad. For those of you who have gone through that sensation, you know how excited I am!!! I still can't drink anything cold but room temperature bottle of water does quench the thirst.
Interesting Update:
My wonderful oncologist surgeon, Dr. Philip Ley was diagnosed with kidney cancer. He had his kidney removed last Thursday. He is now home and recovering well. They believe that it was contained in that kidney. Pray for Dr. Ley. There are alot of us who couldn't have done without him!
Met with Dr. Hill today. He gave me a prescription for a beta blocker if/when my blood pressure hits 140/80. I have had several days of blood pressure spikes now that I am on 4th medicine. Also, nose bleeds happen to be a side effect so I was given a name of a nasal puff to help with that.
I had not up to this point heard the term Cancer Makers ( I Goggled it and came up with tumor markers). But today my nurse explained that my marker was 6.45 in early December. They like it to be around 3 or less. After several more treatments, today that marker read 2.11. She explained it does not mean you are cancer free, but it does indicate the treatment is working. THAT REALLY WENT TO MY HEAD. I 'm not really sure I understand it at all, but it sounds like it is good news.
Dr. Hill set up a CAT scan for me on Monday. I will also get blood work to see if counts are up for treatment six on Wednesday. The I will see Dr. Hill two weeks from today to discuss CAT scan results and he said, "to determine the completion of treatment for the last 6 treatments."
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, strength, mind." Luke 10:27
Let that go to your head!!!
But...we are already almost half way through with January. Time is flying by!
I have just finished treatment FIVE. At the end of January I will have 6 treatments to go. Half. Way. Finished. It is really starting to go to my head!
My hair is thinning out so I sent out an email to few colleagues and daughter. It was only days later I received the wig of my life!!! Then a beanie was delivered. I tried them on...but am having a hard time making it work. LOL Some women can wear hats and beanies and they look so cute...can't quite pull it off. But...wig hunting may be in my future.
(picture of purple wig)
If you read the last post after treatment 4 you know I was in a bad state. I am grateful to say treatment 5 was not as devastating. There was a detour in 5. I usually take Chemo all day Wednesday. When I arrived last Wednesday my blood count was at 700. (they like it to be 1500 but will do treatment at 1200) So...I had to take another Nupregin shot. (that makes 2) The next day, Thursday my count had moved from 700 to 3000! So I was on for the day, Friday and my sister-in-law unplugged me on Saturday. Although....I can say it is going to my head. I can hear rushing in my head as well as a weakness that makes me want to quit thinking. LOL
Work is my strong point! It really does help me to have a plan for the day. Even though Christmas Holidays were wonderful, I wonder if not having to push towards my plan, did I feel worse during that treatment. It was a lot of days of laying around and feeling pretty bad.
Again...going to my head. I am continually trying to analyze the whys and whats of this journey. It becomes a conscious decision to just be still and know that God has it covered.
For some reason, this treatment is not giving me the cold fingers and toes as bad. For those of you who have gone through that sensation, you know how excited I am!!! I still can't drink anything cold but room temperature bottle of water does quench the thirst.
Interesting Update:
My wonderful oncologist surgeon, Dr. Philip Ley was diagnosed with kidney cancer. He had his kidney removed last Thursday. He is now home and recovering well. They believe that it was contained in that kidney. Pray for Dr. Ley. There are alot of us who couldn't have done without him!
Met with Dr. Hill today. He gave me a prescription for a beta blocker if/when my blood pressure hits 140/80. I have had several days of blood pressure spikes now that I am on 4th medicine. Also, nose bleeds happen to be a side effect so I was given a name of a nasal puff to help with that.
I had not up to this point heard the term Cancer Makers ( I Goggled it and came up with tumor markers). But today my nurse explained that my marker was 6.45 in early December. They like it to be around 3 or less. After several more treatments, today that marker read 2.11. She explained it does not mean you are cancer free, but it does indicate the treatment is working. THAT REALLY WENT TO MY HEAD. I 'm not really sure I understand it at all, but it sounds like it is good news.
Dr. Hill set up a CAT scan for me on Monday. I will also get blood work to see if counts are up for treatment six on Wednesday. The I will see Dr. Hill two weeks from today to discuss CAT scan results and he said, "to determine the completion of treatment for the last 6 treatments."
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, strength, mind." Luke 10:27
Let that go to your head!!!
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